End Of An Era...

Back in the fall of 2002, it was an interesting time in my life. I was a wayward young lad, a couple months shy of my 32nd birthday. The Mrs. and I moved up to Boston the previous fall and had just settled into a beautiful brownstone apartment in the heart of downtown Boston. I had just started a new job at a very nice, start-up mortgage company, after a hellish (and that is a HUGE understatement) year at another mortgage company.

However, as happy as I was to be free from the hellhole that was Mortgage Company #1, I wasn’t all that excited about this new job. Granted, I was glad to be there and really appreciated the opportunity for a new start with a brand new company and all that - its just that my heart wasn’t all that into it. I’m not really a finance/mortgage/banking person and I knew that, despite my new opportunity, I would only get so far in the position and that it would - like seemingly every one before and since - get stale.

It was with that thought firmly in mind, that I entered the “Find Our Next D.J.” contest, sponsored by iconic radio station WBCN.

Now, it should be known that I never had any major aspirations of becoming a radio D.J. However, of the few physical gifts I own - a good head of hair, straight teeth and a deep, clear speaking voice are the three most prominent. (Unless, of course, you include the ability to trivialize any significant event in my life into a smarmy, two-lined quip). Based on that, it was often suggested that I try to become either a TV sportscaster or radio D.J as a career path.

Unfortunately, there were just as many people from my small hometown with the small hometown mentality of “Oh, that’s such a hard career to get into, you shouldn’t waste your time with that. Try something easier instead.”

And thus, given that I had the self-confidence of the proverbial red-headed step-child, I never really bothered to pursue either career and eventually ended up toiling away in go-nowhere job after go-nowhere job. And, as is usually the case with regrets - I would, from time-to-time, think about what might have been had I decided to go that route after all.

The contest - I figured at the time - was fate’s way of giving me a chance to make up for a missed opportunity. So, I whipped up a moderately-clever letter, along with a copy of my voice over demo (yes, I have a voice over demo [end cheap plug]) and sent it off, not really expecting much of anything.

Well, lo and behold - about three weeks later I got a letter from one of the program directors at WBCN, saying that they got my letter and wanted me to come in for an on-air interview. In other words, this nobody from a small town in northeastern Ohio was getting a 3-hour shift on one of the most revered rock and roll stations in the country for a chance to get a job that might not actually drive him insane within a month. It was the chance of a lifetime.

Suffice it to say, this chance of a lifetime ended up going as well as the other two or three that I’ve had. Piss poor.

Actually, all things considered, it wasn’t that bad. I made it through the entire 3-hour shift being moderately charming, without accidentally dropping any F-bombs, slandering anyone or passing out while the mike was on. Unfortunately, the powers that be weren’t all that impressed (or, they already had someone in mind, but couldn’t get him to start until a certain date, so they used this contest as a cheap way to fill the air in between the Howard Stern and Opie & Anthony shows for a month). In either event - I didn’t get the job.

I tell this story, because WBCN recently went off the air after 40+ years as the premier rock and roll station in Boston. It will now become one of the myriad of pop music stations that litter the terrestrial radio landscape these days. And, I can’t help but think that their failure to recognize my genius and clear potential as a radio superstar played a significant part in their demise.

I take no joy in their destruction. There is no happiness in my heart over this - instead, just a serene feeling in knowing that those who fail to realize my supreme greatness will be eventually sentenced to an eternity wallowing in damnation - or being forced to play Britney Spears and Lady Ga-Ga CDs over and over and over again.

Consider yourselves warned...