I’m feeling like I really need to do something to get over this non-writing hump. Every couple months or so, I feel like I’m ready to start writing again, then something happens – maybe I’ll throw an old post up or something – and then I go back into hibernation.
It’s quite frustrating to say the least. Personally, I blame the douche bags that fired me from NASCAR, because I’m sure whatever blockage this is, it’s directly related to some sort of unresolved issues I have, due to those humorless assholes firing me after writing on my old blog.
You’d think that after almost five years, I’d be over this whole episode already. Of course, you have no idea about the myriad of psychoses I’m suffering from that are preventing me from doing so, either. Granted, the fact that I work in such close proximity to the old office doesn’t help. Nor does the fact that I still see a lot of the people I used to work with there – and I every time I see them, they still give me the same look that says, “Hey, didn’t that loser used to work with me?” and it makes me want to punch them in the face. Hard. The fact that I can now actually do so without fear of getting my ass handed to me in the process doesn’t diminish the feeling any in the slightest.
Granted, the logical move here would be to find myself a job somewhere far away from uptown, and – subsequently – the NASCAR offices. Of course, with the current job market being what it is, combined with my lackluster pedigree, that’s not going to happen anytime soon, either.
And, just to add one more obstacle to deal with – I’m always putting extra pressure on myself to come up with something really clever and/or witty to put up here. My old blog was a good mixture of stuff that was primarily funny (or so I was told), some random observations and a little self-pity induced whining – not unlike what I’m doing right here. For some reason, with this new site – I’ve felt as though if it’s not funny, it’s not worth posting and subsequently don’t bother.
What I need to do is just what I’m doing now – just start writing down whatever thoughts come into my head, get them out there – stream-of-conscious style and post them. At least get the practice, get myself warmed up to the idea of posting regularly again and go from there. Besides, it’s not like I’m not the only one reading this shit anyhow, right?
